...and I wouldn't totally disagree.

Is there a girl out there for me?
I probably think about this almost every night. While I don't believe that there's that "one" person for someone (a fairy tale most girls believe), its frustrating that there are so few women that I'd consider dating. Generally, I categorize women into two groups: women that I'd fool around with (fairly large group); women that I'd give my heart to (this group is very small). Now I'm sure that if you're female and reading this, you're thinking, "this guy is another douche bag player," and I wouldn't totally disagree.

I guess I got tired of waiting, tired of being rejected and overlooked. Unlike most players, I don't lie to the girl. I won't tell her things I know she wants to hear. I try to be as honest as I can (I am human). They know fairly quickly if I'm truly interested or not. Its kind of sad that I received a lot more attention from girls that I ignored. This presented quite a dilemma... If I like the girl, she won't like me, but if I don't really like the girl, she won't leave me alone. I could prattle on for pages about how girls like guys that are dicks. It is so rare to see a girl that goes for the pure, shy, honest guy that was easier to catch than a cold in Antarctica.

I hope you keep reading, because if you didn't get to this point, you'd think I'm a dick, and I wouldn't totally disagree. I don't go out very much, so I don't meet many women. As a result, I tend to talk to random strangers online (myspace or facebook). "Myspace is the new booty call." I've probably lost any chance with any girl I've met online by writing this.

One of the first questions they ask is "do I know you?" A little down the road comes a question along the lines of "you talk to a lot of girls, don't you?" These are probably the toughest hurdles to jump. Truthfully, I don't do this very often and if I find myself attracted to a girl, she's the only one I'll talk to.

I'm often told that "I'm a good guy," and I wouldn't totally disagree. But I'm not the guy I used to be. I'm not that shy, sheltered, nerdy, innocent guy who had dreams of marrying his first girlfriend anymore. I don't close my eyes when there's kissing on tv anymore. I don't leave gifts or poems and run away anymore. I don't believe in love anymore.

Just kidding about not believing in love. I still have a sliver of hope that love exists. People who know me would be surprised at the rawness of this blog. I'm generally a closed off person and "hard to read."

I can't think of a good way to end this post. I could talk about how I'd be the best boyfriend ever or how I'm slightly different from any guy you've ever met. Maybe another time.